Thinkin'

Have you ever had a time in your life when you feel like you should be doing something more. Like you aren't fullfilling your full potential and that your life is at a monotinous standstill? I have reached yet another one of those lovely moments. I know what I want to be doing. That isn't the question. It's just finding a way, or the time.
I've decided it's a wonderful day for thinking. I'm just sitting on my balcony, enjoying the last bits of warmth before winter hits. I think the birds are celbrating. There are seagulls everywhere. It's nice to have the sun again for a while. I'm feeling a little less down. I do hate winter because of the one fact that it makes you so depressed. I just miss sitting in the sun and doing things outside. At least there is something to do.
Work has just been stressing me out lately. There is so much to do and not enough people to do it. I take over in two weeks and I'm not sure how I'm going to get everything done that I need to get done! I really don't want to work anymore. I want to stay home and do all the things I never seem to have time to get done. Or, maybe just work less. That would be nice too. I don't feel like I can really take care of the home and Ed while I'm gone all day at work and tired when I get home. I mean, yes, I might be a little wimpy. My job isn't that hard, it just tires out my brain. Now I also spend some of my evenings preparing for my lessons. I guess I'm just not a very good multi tasker.
Ed is doing so well with everything. I think he's helped more people than he knows. He's so strong and I'm so proud of him. I can't wait to see everything come into place that he's set up. I learn a lot from him. We learn a lot from eachother. That is how marriage is supposed to work. A team is strongest when everyone has different skills and talents that can work together. I know we have that. I just wish I was able to use all of my talents to my full potential. I want to be a homemaker and make sure my home is a calm and happy one. When both people are working it doesn't provide someone who is stable to take care of things. I want that! We haven't been fighting much or anything, I just feel like I could do a whole lot more if time allowed it.
I guess that is life though....